Rants, Recipes and Ramblings

The Munchie Man

Back in the mid 80’s we did a “Road Show” musical based on the Music Man.  I played the Robert Preston role.  Except instead of wearing a band leaders uniform I was rockin some tights, sweat shirt and ankle weights

I recently stumbled across the script and lyrics from the show.


Seventy six pounds off by the first of May,
With a hundred and ten pounds more after that
We’ll get rid of our rolls and rolls and fit in our pantyhose,
Then no one can ever call us fat.

(drill sergeant)

Seventy six pounds off and you’ll blow away.
You’ll get rid of those lumps and bumps, or you’ll stay!
So get out there and hit that track ’cause we don’t give money back,
Checks and cash – we don’t care how you pay.

(Reprise)

Seven or six pounds off – we will make it yet
We will diet and exercise every day.
We’ll get rid of unwanted fat and we’ll never gain it back:
Self-control is the one and only way.


O-Oh, the Weight Watchers’ Wagon is a-comin’ down the street,
Oh, please let it be for me.
O-Oh, the Weight Watchers’ Wagon is a-comin’ down the street,
I hope that it can do something for me!
I’d like to have a dreamy date by my birthday
And I’d just like to go out at all
Just once I want to fit a size seven–
I’d really dazzle them if I were at the big state

ball!
O-Oh, the Weight Watchers’ Wagon is a-comin’ now
And we’ll be slim, trim and fit as we can be
We’ll leave our cookies, our ice cream and our Hostess Twinkies,
So we’ll look like — something special — wait and see!

Fats and carbohydrates, Fats and carbohydrates, Fats and carbohydrates,
Oh, we really miss them so!
Fats and carbohydrates, Fats and carbohydrates, Fats and carbohydrates,
How we hate to see them go!
Now, if you’d like to see a calorie inundation,
We

could show you how without any hesitation.
We could lose the slightest feelings of dedication —
Oh to have one bite of that stuff tonite!
Fats and carbohydrates, Fats and carbohydrates —
Not green salads, fiber, bran, protein or Lean Cuisines, but…
Stickey, gooey, starchy, chewy, sick’ning, fat’ning, crummy, yummy
Junk Foods — our Dream of Dreams.”

Marian – the vegetarian!
If you would eat a treat, you’d see — it’s neat!
You’d crave it madly, badly, dear vegetarian — Marian!
If you stumbled, and you nibbled my Whatcha-ma-callit,
Then your health foods would lie unnoticed
‘Til that stuff had all turned to carion – dead vegetarian!

It’s a long-lost cause we can never win,

For the civilized world accepts as unforgivable sin,
And munching of junk food by a vegetarian
Such as Marian! The vegetarian!

Oreos, oh, Oreos, oh —
With lots of doublestuff inside
Oreos, how everyone knows —
You couldn’t beat them if you tried!
Yum, yum, yum — you can scrape the middle out first!
Yum, yum, yum — a taste sensastion and a huge temptation!

So here is our love song – not fancy or fine:
Oreos, oh won’t you be mine!


Pig a little, scarf a little, pig a little, scarf a little —
Chomp, chomp, chomp — drink a lot, pig a little more!
Pig a little, scarf a little, pig a little, scarf a little —
Chomp, chomp, chomp — drink a lot, pig a little more!
Pig a little, scarf a little, pig a little, scarf a little —
Chomp, chomp, chomp — drink a lot, pig a little more!
Pig a little, scarf a little, pig a little, scarf a little —
Chomp, chomp, chomp — drink a lot, pig a little more!
Chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp

Good bye, Twinkies!
Good bye, Ding-Dongs!
Good bye, Oreos —
We’re going to leave you now.

Farewell, french fries!
Good bye, Big Macs!
Buzz off Snickers!
We won’t eat you — NO HOW!